I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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