My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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