i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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