of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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