What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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