I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
