How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
