My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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