Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
