I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
