he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
