i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
