So drunk its hurt
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
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I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
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I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I smell like Dick and happiness
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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