i was rollin on her like bob the builder
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
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No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
third nipple confirmed
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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