sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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