i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize