She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
