don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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