I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
