where am i from again
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
