Operation Purity has been aborted
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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