dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
