I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize