Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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