You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
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I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
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just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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