remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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