I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
