escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
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