Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
