Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon