She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed