I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones