Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway