How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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