Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?