How'd it feel making her break her religion?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic