Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.

Fav 38 6591 1023
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk

Fav 40 5501 1351
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.

Fav 17 993 6912
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...

Fav 22 2926 4000
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(802): View more from Vermont

every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.

Fav 18 8454 1458
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.

Fav 6 2565 890
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.

Fav 7 3058 1540
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(304): View more from West Virginia

He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"

Fav 0 766 703
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(609): View more from New Jersey

he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?

Fav 0 11 37
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT