Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders