ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.