Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  and trust me i need no booty pop lessons

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  (517): and trust me i need no booty pop lessons http://tfl.nu/h5fy
  Replies (2) Good night (2207) Bad night (1393)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.

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  (412): I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship. http://tfl.nu/nd0o
  Replies (20) Good night (2939) Bad night (829)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.

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  (847): john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer. http://tfl.nu/ic81
  Replies (5) Good night (688) Bad night (2959)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.

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  (603): I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me. http://tfl.nu/xhqm
  Replies (24) Good night (1884) Bad night (3615)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever

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  (620): She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever http://tfl.nu/3n5f
  Replies (26) Good night (5557) Bad night (1364)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.

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  (330): I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing. http://tfl.nu/hw5t
  Replies (6) Good night (1463) Bad night (3153)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.

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  (570): since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there. http://tfl.nu/6g57
  Replies (4) Good night (2831) Bad night (888)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night

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  (617): Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night http://tfl.nu/g4dq
  Replies (9) Good night (1454) Bad night (2634)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.

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  (614): My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet. http://tfl.nu/omff
  Replies (11) Good night (905) Bad night (1901)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Ew! He's just a child!

  (361): View more from Texas

  AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.

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  (361): I'm okay with corrupting his young mind. (1-361): Ew! He's just a child! (361): AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE. http://tfl.nu/exs0
  Replies (46) Good night (4225) Bad night (2201)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.

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  (405): I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again. http://tfl.nu/ydjf
  Replies (12) Good night (576) Bad night (2121)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Listen to me plotting my whoredom.

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  (316): Listen to me plotting my whoredom. http://tfl.nu/l2mq
  Replies (3) Good night (1595) Bad night (591)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.

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  (306): He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating. http://tfl.nu/hhgj
  Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (363)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!

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  (309): Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!! http://tfl.nu/ykbd
  Replies (1) Good night (640) Bad night (339)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it

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  (+44): The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it http://tfl.nu/jw2n
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (277)

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