somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN