u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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