do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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