Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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