One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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