I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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