Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
3pm strippers are depressing
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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