she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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