I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
