i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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