Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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