Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
