What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
