Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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