is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize