you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
