i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
