Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
