Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Too much gin, very little bucket
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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