I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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