Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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