can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
