Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
