Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
