im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
