So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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