TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
