Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
