Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
