2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
