If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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