you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
This is my gift to your gina
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
