Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
