I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
one might say we're banned from that church
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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