my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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